What made us decide to adopt?
Its a great question and one I am happy to answer. A lot of people have wondered this, as we have three biological children already, and neither Tim or I suffer from infertility. Few have actually asked this question though as family planning is personal. (Similar to the questions to an unknowingly infertile couple as to when they will decide to have a baby- it really no ones business.) Still I have friends who want to know and those of you who know me well, know I'm open to answering.
The short answer: We want to adopt. We feel like adoption is the way we will add the next child to our family.
The long answer: (This is my blog I will say what I may and if you don't agree or like it, fine. I'm not asking you to or telling you you should. This is simply our family's experience that have lead us to this decision.)
I have gotten pregnant with the first try for each of our children. My first pregnancy was hard, not horrible but hard. (And by hard I mean lost 25 lbs cause I was so sick- some would say that IS horrible, but not me, the nausea was much less the first go around and only lasted for 17 weeks.)
My second pregnancy was worse the first trimester- I lost 35 lbs in the 16 weeks while taking nausea medicine, and I vomited uncontrollably and couldn't keep much down.
The third time around, the morning sickness started sooner and lasted till 23.5 weeks. I was taking sub-lingual Zofran (a strong anti nausea medication given to chemo therapy patients that melts under the tongue since just water would induce my vomiting) at least 5 times a day (each tablet could last up to 8 hours but obviously didn't with me.) I couldn't care for my children and my mother-in-law came to live with us for more than a month to help care for our children and our home since Tim was in school and working and had been doing more than double duty for weeks since I was useless. I was never hospitalized, though I should have been. Though I was considered under weight at 6 feet tall, it wasn't as bad for me - according to the numbers- as the 5 feet nothing women out there who loose 15 of their 100 lb frames during pregnancy. Our oldest daughter, Amelia, thought I was dying and asked me when I was going to be with Heavenly Father.
The Hyperemesis Gravidarum is one thing. Yes its bad- horrific, even. All the medical professionals I have counseled with said it will only get worse. When we considered attempting a pregnancy, my service provider and I came up with a game plan of doing home IV hydration therapy to help with medical costs and so I could be around my children, rather than alone in a hospital room. Still, when you know a baby is supposed to come to your family, you consider things that others deem insane.
A completely different issue is that my last delivery was very traumatic and hard on my body. We came very close to both me and Brodrick dying. I have serious risk at attempting another pregnancy this close to my last delivery (Brodrick will be two the end of July). The longer I wait to possibly get pregnant, the greater my chances are of having a successful pregnancy resulting in a live- full term birth. The trouble is, a baby is supposed to come to our family... soon. Sooner than even a pregnancy could result in an addition to our family.
So in weighing our options we have come to the decision to move forward with adoption.
9 comments:
I can't imagine anyone would have any bad opinions about this! It's so interesting to me to see that having children and getting pregnant is so different for everyone. Some get pregnant easy, like you but have other areas of difficulty. Some have a hard time getting pregnant, but have easy pregnancies. So, the fact that you are so open to all of this and so in tune with the spirit is extra special! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you
i'm glad that couples who technically could have children look into adoption. the more mainstream adoption is the better it is.
also, just a quick note, zofran is given to every pregnant person i've ever met. i take it because of uncontrollable nausea from consistent surgeries. of course, chemo patients take it as well because it controls nausea. it is a widely and commonly prescribed medication. i feel you, however, on the need to take it multiple times a day. one last an hour or two with me.
This is so exciting! I can't wait to see your adventure unfold. :)
I love to hear that people take health, finances, sanity, etc. into consideration during family planning!
Kenna- Sounds like an over generalization. I didn't get it- but other medications- for my first two pregnancies because it was not widely prescribed. Yes, now it is more widely and commonly prescribed, but not everyone knows about it. Perhaps the reference to the chemo got you to thinking I am trying to communicate my taking some hard core nausea drug. Just referencing the use of the drug started with it first being used for chemo patients.
Melanie,
I wasn't trying to attack you. Just stating some information about Zofran. I clearly didn't realize that you were merely speaking of the origins of the drug. In fact, the word, 'hard core' didn't even enter my mind.
I apologize if that comment was taken out of context.
I did take it out of context with reading the "Just a quick note," coupled with the "I feel you, however" toward the end. You are so sweet to comment again to clarify. No hurt feelings on this end, and I'm hoping on your end as well. Thanks for your comments and willingness to communicate!
You're so awesome. And I think it's a wonderful decision. I'm sorry you get so sick! That's so hard. And I've known you for a long time and couldnt imagine NOT seeing you eventually adopt a bundle of joy :)
Can we talk sometime about this getting-set up process? Richard and I have recently been talking about adoption, and I don't even know where to begin! Or if we would even be considered.
Post a Comment