Modesty and Being a Lady

Modesty is important to me as a woman. Having a 5 year old daughter who feels pressure and desire to wear things that might not be modest, and having two sons that are starting to notice immodest dress, makes modesty important to me as a mother.

As a member of the LDS faith, it is something that is talked about. The Friend magazine my church puts out each month for children ages 18 months- 11 years old. I know it can be a touchy subject for some people in the church, when it come to small/young children.
About two years ago there was a story about a girl who was given a dress that didn't have sleeves and described how she wore a shirt that had sleeves on under the dress to stay modest.  Two years ago, Amelia and I read the story and discussed the outcome.  The next page had a modesty check list the standards of modesty that should be expected.

Here is a modesty check list that was published in The Friend.

• ▫ My shoulders are covered.
• ▫ My shirt covers my stomach.
• ▫ My shorts or skirt go to my knees.
  
• ▫ My shirt is not low-cut.
  
• ▫ My clothes are not tight.
  
• ▫ I don’t look sloppy.
  
• ▫ My hair is combed.
  
• ▫ My clothes are not saggy, torn, or holey to fit in with a style.
  
• ▫ Labels or words on my clothes are respectful, not rude or offensive.

I love this list. Amelia and I have talked a lot about two years ago and since then, our family has had the rule of not wearing clothing outside that does not cover our shoulders, and everything else listed in the check list. Amelia does however, have some shirts that don't have sleeves that she can layer over something, wear as undershirts, and wear to bed; and also has short shorts to sleep in or layer under her skirts for time when she is climbing trees in a skirt.

On a day last week, I told Amelia to go get dressed for her day. She came back wearing just a tank top. She said something like "See what I'm wearing?" referencing to her shirt, and asked, "Is that ok? Can I wear this?" Amelia knew it was not ok, we had talked about this and she knew our rule. However, I didn't want to disagree or make it an issue, after all, as parents, we need to choose our battles. I was reminded of the quote by the Prophet Joseph Smith that says, "You teach them correct principles, and them let them govern themselves." So I told her, "You know our rules and what I expect from you about the cloths you wear. I will let you decide to wear it or to change." Amelia was VERY surprised, and left the room. I am happy to report that she went and put a short sleeved shirt on underneath her tank top. She came back to me and said, "I decided to wear a shirt that would cover (touching her shoulders), and the tank top." **Proud Mom Moment**

And now for some thoughts on modesty Found on Pinterest: